Maybe This Girl Is Me
While I was closing down at work tonight, a man punched his entire arm through our front door window. I looked up and even made eye contact with him as he pulled his bloody arm back through the shattered glass.
His girlfriend was out front crying and bleeding. Witnesses said he had also pushed her to the ground. I overhead her cry to the cops, "He's never hurt me before! I'm so sorry!"
When she said it, I immediately judged her.. "Why are YOU apologizing?!" I scoffed in my head. "Your boyfriend shoved you onto the concrete and then blasted through our window! Apologize to no one but yourself! For putting up with this idiot!"
But now, all I can hear is her voice. That line she said. And how familiar it sounds.. Like maybe I've heard it somewhere before... like maybe I've met this girl before... Except maybe this girl
is me.
You see, in a past relationship, my ex sometimes communicated by punching holes in walls, or throwing phones. He'd kick, and scream, and slam. When I would confide to my loved ones about his aggression, they'd always ask with concern if he had hurt me. "Never," I would state firmly, "He would never hurt me."
When I put my statement - "He would never hurt me" - next to her statement - "He's never hurt me before" - don't they sound so similar? Almost the same? Like how one of them could just kinda stumble into the other? And become the same? Almost by accident? Without even realizing? Because they're that close? Almost too close..
Can you hear it?
How close they are?
How close we are?
How we're almost the same?
I can hear it. And I can't stop hearing it now.
Now, I wish I could go back in time and change how I reacted.
Instead, go outside. Sit down next to that girl. Look her in the eyes. Tell her that I hear her. That I see her. That she has nothing to apologize for. That she did nothing wrong.
That his aggression, and what he does with it, is not her fault.
That his anger is not her responsibility.
That she should get up off the concrete.
That she is capable.
That she is worthy.
That she can brush herself off.
That she can walk away.
That I know she can.
Cause I did.
(Photo: Leo Lo Photography)