Difference vs Ignorance
On more than one occasion,
and by more than one person,
I’ve heard the phrase:
“I accept our differences, and we can still be friends.”
But there seems to be a misunderstanding here
that I’d like to excavate.
Accepting someone for their differences looks like:
She likes the color purple, and I like green.
He eats mushrooms, and I hate them.
She loves TV, and I don’t care for it.
He wears shorts, and I prefer pants.
She favors cold weather, and I favor warm.
Accepting someone for the ignorance looks like:
She believes the LGBTQA+ community doesn’t deserve equal protection under the law, and I do.
He thinks “All Lives Matter” was an appropriate response to protesting police brutality, and I don’t.
She wants abortions to be illegal, and I’m pro-choice.
He says systemic racism doesn’t exist, and I know it does.
She doesn’t believe in white privilege, and I know it’s real.
The difference between accepting someone for their difference versus accepting someone for their ignorance is this:
One doesn’t cause harm to others.
And the other — absolutely, without question nor debate — DOES cause harm to others.
And I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t want to hurt people.
And I don’t want the people in my circle to hurt people either.
To be clear:
I can accept someone for our differences.
But I absolutely cannot — and will not — accept someone for their ignorance.
Because the information is out there. The research has been done. The books have been written. The theories have been proven. The alternative perspectives are readily available. The discrimination is outright. The harm that ignorance can cause is obvious. Women are losing healthcare. People of color are being killed. Families are being ripped apart. Parents are losing their children.
Think about the dominos that are falling around you.
Think of the ways you could have stopped them from falling.
So… in regards to ignorance, the statement, “I can accept our differences, and we can still be friends” shouldn’t be applied.
Because complicity and silence is violence.
Maybe not towards you.
But definitely towards people who do not look, sound, love, and pray like you.
You know what I’d like everyone to accept?
What shouldn’t be a difference of opinion nor preference?
Love.
Education.
Empathy.
Courage.
Understanding.
These are the characteristics that build strong friendships.
These are the qualities that build a better world.
So let’s hold each other accountable to them.
Let’s push each other (myself included) to be better.
Let’s accept each other for our kindness.
For our awareness.
For our belief in a better world.