What. Is. Time.

Before the whole world changed, the truth is:

I was already feeling changed. 

Flashback to 2019:

I left the comfort of a life I’d built,

packed up my life,

and I just fucking went for it.

“Sent it,” as the cool kids say these days. 

I just took off… for god knows what? 

Something. Anything. More. 

Maybe it was me

I was searching for. 

That hasn’t changed.

I’m still searching. 

Nothing has changed,

yet everything has changed.

Society feels slower and obnoxiously loud,

but also faster and dangerously quiet.

I’ve lived 30 years in 3,

yet simultaneously think a year ago was yesterday.

My head spins if I look too closely at the timeline.

Anyone else feeling this?

Like, HELLO, it’s APRIL..  2023!!! 

October was 2 days ago as far as I’m concerned.

2022 flew by me like a bat out of hell.

And I’m still over here referring to 2019 as “last year.”

WHAT IS TIME?! (iykyk).

The rubber band metaphor feels abundantly accurate.

But it feels like it’s snapping back in my face. 

Maybe time is the true currency.

Maybe someone has said that before.

Maybe I’m thinking about it right now like that person did long ago.

Because... rubber band. 

Fucking time.

Trying to decipher what I want to do with this time I get.

This one fragile existence.

This whole human-ing thing is WILD to me.

Our species — having consciousness — floating in an infinite abyss.

Not moving if I stand still, yet constantly hurtling through space around a ball of hot plasma at approximately 67,000 mph.

My brain RATTLES with thoughts like this.

So, if you need me, I’ll be here.

And there.

Everywhere and nowhere.

Learning everything,

yet knowing absolutely nothing.